A new self, a true self, a self, grounded, not in its own willfulness and endless needs, but in the abundant life in Christ, waits in the wings for its cue. To stand clueless and empty-handed in the midst of the mystery of our being is to dwell in the realm of God.
Life has a way of disappointing us and exposing our assumptions and faulty beliefs. Disillusionment can be a brutal, disturbing experience. Like all adaptation and change, it takes time to accept what we have lost and begin to see what we have gained.
Yet, ultimately, to be disillusioned is to be set free. This action of grace removes the plank in our own eyes, dethrones our egos, and much of the healing process is hidden from our conscious awareness.
And then, there is Paul and his experience of disillusionment. Read his testimony. Does it sound like something you are going through?
See here, see the proof is in my groping blindness my stunned, numbed, nauseous soul stumbling in a foreign land.
There are ones who can testify that I saw well enough before, that I did not wear this unveiled shocked look of the newly blind. There are ones who can remember the zeal and pulse of desire in me.